TKC Old Girl

Over the weekend, I got an email through the tkcoga yahoogroup about the new blog for TKC old girls. The blog will contain news on TKC old girls or old girls' activities, posted by the OGA Public Relations sub-committee.

Its still new, but I hope many of us "Sisters of 74" will visit the site, and support it to make it active. I understand that all of us are busy, but we can still connect and keep in touch with the old alma mater and our sisters of TKCoga.

There is a posting on the blog by Kak Ruby (MCE 73) on the plight of the present students of TKC. It appears that things are quite different from the time we were in college. Do read it up, although perhaps some of us whose daughters are now in TKC, are already aware of it.

The blog address is www.tkcoga.blogspot.com .

I will put the link to the site into our own Sisters of 74 blog, after I obtain the permission from the blog administrators. Meanwhile, it would also be great if you could contribute to our blog too.

It is getting rather boring with mainly the ramblings from yours truly. I really would like to see postings from the others too! If you would like to be a contributor to the blog postings, and have not received an invite from me on this, please do email me and I will add you to the list. I can't add everyone yet because it would take too much time adding in everyone's names. Although I guess, ultimately that is what I have to do!

So, Zid, Hafiz, Jay, start hitting the keyboards!

Here's What We Look Like.

Its been some time since the last reunion in PD. Almost a year to be exact. Some of us have not had the opportunity to view the group photo that was taken by the official photographer, so I thought I should try my skills at this and attempt to put this up for all to see.

If I am not mistaken, at the time of that reunion, didn't we pledge to have another do to celebrate our ....... (ahem!) jubilee?

Meantime, I am sure we can still have the small group lunches or tea. It used to be that we met one Friday a month in KLCC, TopHats or some other place for lunch. Its been quite some time since I have heard of any more such lunches. Or, have I not been in the loop? Anyway, I hope to meet Adilah later today sebab ada "project".

Oh, by the way, I spoke to Hafiz yesterday and found out that her husband, Mat, is in Tawakal Hospital. Had some knee operation done. Hafiz said he would probably be there till the weekend. Don't know the development so far, but I hope to visit him sometime this weekend, in between rushing the younger daughter to her Art Class, tuition, etc., and the promised trip to the SPCA.

If any of you had visited this blog, you would notice that I have added some links in the sidebar. These are other blogs which could be of interest. Najah was my colleague responsible for inciting the idea for this blog. ( I say "was" because today is her last day at work in the Cradle Investment Programme ). Kak Suriya is one year our senior. Suriya Khatun. I am sure you all remember her as the Chocolate Cream Soldier in our production of "Arms & the Man"? I don't know who Datin is, but I thought her blog is interesting. If you bothered to look up the TKCOGA site, I am sure you all agree that something needs to be done about that website! Anyone nak start the ball rolling there? And those who love food will find Makan Sakan of great use. This was put together by Najah & Co.

Okay, if you have the time, just look up these sites. Better still, spare a couple of minutes to write something in the blog. Otherwise, it will be just me rambling on and on, and we don't want that, do we?

Mohd Ezzat Aiman's Berkhatan Ceremony

It so happened that I was the only Sister of 74 who attended Abung's berkhatan ceremony for her son. Even then, I was a bit late because I didn't bother to find out exactly where Ukay Heights was, because I assumed Jeff knew. And he assumed that I knew. So there we were, driving up two wrong hillside residences along Hulu Kelang road (the first, Hillview, right up to Highland Towers, then the Ukay Perdana/Bukit Antarabangsa access) until we finally got the directions from a friend who told us it was the first left turn after the SPCA in Ampang Jaya. At this point, I didn't bother calling Abung because I reckoned she would be busy with the guests, and wouldn't hear the phone anyway.

It was an unnerving journey into Ukay Heights, since it was pretty dark and secluded, and we took several wrong t urns ending in dead-end roads. Finally we found Jalan Pimping which, incidentally could have been accessed easily from Jalan Hulu Kelang itself since it was just beside Jalan Hulu Kelang!

Anyway, we were just in time to catch the kompang and followed the entourage into the house. Abung really surpassed, I guess, for a berkhatan ceremony. But then again, we all know Abung right? Jangan marah, Datin Dragon! ;-) ... Abung was resplendent in her baju datin, which was colour coordinated with the rest of her family members, and looked more "Datin" than usual. (I can imagine Dillot, Pah, Tiger and our other Datins frowning at this. Sorry lah Ladies, not trying to stereotype you guys. Just that usually, when I meet Abung she is dressed casually. Smart casual, that is.)

The house was decorated with candles and a variety of lighting, and bunga melur and rose petals were strewn all along the walkways. The Doa was followed by a Berzanji by Rabbani and they were really good.

Ezzat, the young "Putera" was seated on a dais (pelamin) decorated with lilies, bunga melur, and other fresh flowers. In fact the scent of fresh flowers filled the whole house and I imagine it could have been a bit too much for some (especially my pregnant colleague who, fortunately for her, didn't turn up). Seated beside him were his 2 sisters who were all dolled up and looked like Dayangs for the Prince. It occured to me that Abung's offsprings looked mostly like her!

After that the guests performed the Tepung Tawar accompanied by Rabbani's cool crooning. The poor boy looked rather tired and sleepy; lucky he didn't really understand what he would have go through the next day at the hospital! In fact Abung remarked that the whole idea was to get him excited about the event so that he wouldn't think too much about the berkhatan procedure.

I met Abung's mom and she didn't look a day older than the time in TKC. You all remember her, don't you, from college days?

We didn't stay too long after dinner because we didn't know anyone else apart from the family. And Hafiz and Jon, I passed your salaams to Abung, as requested.

My little girl was full of questions, though.
"How old is the boy, Mama?"
"About your age. Nine, I think"
"Does that mean I have to go through this as well?"
"No, only for boys"
"Why?"
"Well, you had your Bersunat when you were a baby"
"Why boys do later?"
"Well, they can do it as babies, too"
"It must be scary"
"Perhaps"
"Do they cut off their (excuse me) birds? That turns them into girls, right?"
"Heavens no!"

Somehow, I don't think I handled that pretty well, but she seemed contented that she didn't have to have the procedure done.

"Must be embarrassing to have to sit on the Pelamin"
"Not necessarily. Some people enjoy that."
"Johan (relative's son) is nine too. I am going to ask him when he will bersunat."
"Don't you dare! That could scare him!"

Well, that's my report on last Friday's event. Abung said she will pass me some photos which I can attempt to put on the blog. (Hey, I am still learning, okay?).

And no, she didn't make me write this. :-D

Pitching Lari Sikit ...

I wonder how many of you are caught up in the Akademi Fantasia madness, but for the last 3 years, I have not been able to escape its clutches!

I don't mind watching the weekly concerts, and occasionally the daily diaries. But the kids will never let me off scot free!

The first year, my niece was staying with me after her SPM. Together with my youngest, they made sure that I drove them to the weekly concert in UPM without fail! Then in the second season, they imposed an age limit (thank God!) and my niece left to further her studies, so it was back to just watching the concerts on TV. Like wise this year, but I still cannot escape having to sit through their singing, and then commenting on it, just like Kudsia Kahar and the other juries!!!

So, terpaksa lah comment "Pitching Lari", "Tak cukup feel", "diction needs improvement", etc! Lucky I memorised some of the comments ususally made, so tak payah think too hard! But lama lama, she wised up and demanded that I betul betul comment.

And then there is still the argument about their favourite AF student! Kakak, of course, never seems to agree with Adik and cannot resist pulling her leg about her choices. Adik, being all of 9 years will typically find gher favourites in potential teeny-bopper types like Adam last year and Kefli this year. This, of course totally differs from Kakak, who goes for more serious, good singers!

This year, it gets worse, with the merchandising! Laa ... it really is a money spinner. isn't it?

And worse, a few weeks back, I had to drive all the way to Putrajaya, to catch the open air concert, for which takde age limit. Of course lah we all lewat cos we left at around 8.00 pm. So, had to park far far away and trudge all the way to the crowd. Hmmm ... dah tua tua ni memang ,alas, tapi kesian pulak kat Adik tu!

Anyway, I am off to Abung's kenduri tonight. Anyone else going?

College Sisters, Brothers and such ...

Since I am online, I thought I should just bring up this subject. (Hope nobody gets offended!). Just out of curiosity, how many of us are still in touch with our then college sisters and brothers? I guess many are still in touch with the sisters, being tkc girls and all that, but what about the brothers? Or, dare I ask, how many actually married their "college brothers"? Er... don't worry dears, it is not at all as incestuous as it sounds. In fact, perfectly normal. The term "college brother" is really a misnomer!

I am guilty of not being in contact with my college sis after I left college. Sure, there were the occassional reciprocal visits to one another's homes right after we left college, and then there were the letters exchanged when we were studying overseas, but after a while it all dwindled down to zero. And to think these people were once so close to our hearts!!! My college sister was Luee and I heard she was working at MINT. But I bet even she has forgotten me! Hehehe ...

But, believe it or not, I am still very much in touch with my college brother from STAR. Somehow our lives had intertwined at various intervals ... right after college, then when I lost my first husband he was there for me, and much later at this ripe old age, I found I had to deal with him professionally! Funny, isn't it?

But we are such good friends, and having known each other since our teens, we understood one another perfectly. I think my husband, Jeff, is quietly relieved that there is this brother figure looking out for me. (Yes, they've met ... we live in the same neighbourhood). Especially in instances related to work where he can't help me, he accepts and is almost thankful that there is this brother person who can help me out and is only a phone-call away. But unfortunately wifey is not too impressed! :-(

Anyway, it would have been better if I still make the same connections with my college sis. Hmm .. maybe next OGA dinner, I'll try to look her up!

The Last few Months.

There hasn't been any postings in this blog since May. Hmmm ... that was really some time back. I must admit I have been pretty busy, at work and at home. Also have been very much under the weather, so to speak. It can't be age! I mean there are other much older, much fatter people who seem pretty well and healthy. It must be stress!

Whatever, I have had my hands full. Work has been pretty hectic. The team has been reduced from 12 to 8. We have to reestablish everything ... like workshops, setting the house in order again, etc. And 1 more member is leaving end of this month to follow her husband in Singapore! Talk about timing! For those in the group who may not know or have forgotten what I do (for a living, that is,) ... I am heading a development fund which gives financial assistance for the development of technology related ideas. I have been with the team for about 2 years now, but my first boss left sometime middle of last year and my subsequent boss left end of last year. So, I was asked to take over beginning January this year. And that just about sums up the story of my life (professionally, that is).

On the homefront, I had taken on the task of "rehabilitating" my husband's 2 orphaned nephew and niece. They had been left by their parents even when they were alive, and under Grandma's misguided love, had grown into two teenaged hell's angels! It was quite a task and I think in the process I made an enemy out of my mom in law. But my intentions were good, and no other aunt or uncle could be bothered. Having been an orphan myself, I understood that they should be given a chance. But I guess they blew it, and after 6 months, I shipped them out because my own childrem were getting annoyed and upset with the havoc they caused. Didn't help that my mom in law was always backing them up. I decided it was a lose-lose battle all the way, and I really was at the end of my patience!!!

So now, I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life again. Trying to reestablish some sense of normalcy (is there such a word?) again.

Well, so there it is, the reason for my silence all this while, and also for my absence from the oga dinners, etc.

By the way, I was trying to send out an invitation to the group to download Skype. Cheaper to make calls to loved oned and friends abroad using Skype. But I think the message didn't go through. So, if anyone is interested, just message me.

As I Walk Through Life ...

As I Walk Through Life, I've Learnt ....

... that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.It may be the last time you see them.

... that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

... that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

... that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

... that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, it doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others; Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

... that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.

... that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

(Source of quote not available)

On Growing Old, Vanity and the VitC Jabs ...

The little excitement over the Vitamin C jabs have evoked a fair amount of reaction from the ladies. Quite interesting, really, because there appears to be varying opinions and attitudes towards it. Some have even emailed me personally about this, for fear their interest in it will be construed as mere vanity, or even living in denial of our impending old age! You ladies know who you are laa!!! ;-D

I was actually a little puzzled about this fear of being criticised in that manner, until Rahmah's email came in. I do agree with Rahmah's comment that we should all grow old gracefully. But I guess the difference in opinion lies in the perception of what "growing old gracefully" means.
For me, I take it to mean growing old with elegance, poise, and charm. Attractively and tastefully. Graciously accepting the onset of age, yet work at trying to make the transition as seamless as possible, and make the experience as uncumbersome as possible. Behaving your age and acceptiong that the years have passed by, yet trying to minimise the ravages of time and the effects of the toll that life and living has taken on us. Having said that, growing old should be a pleasant journey, and that in itself, is relative. What constitutes "a pleasant journey" really depends on the individual because we are all different women with different perceptions and needs.

But what women doesn't want to look nice? To some of us, nature (or shall I say, Allah) has been more than kind, where our appearance is concerned. Some of us do not need the extra help from beauty products , etc because to these fortunate few not much effort is required to look good. But there are others for whom looking good, or even just looking pleasant, is a constant battle, even in youth! Not everyone is born with good complexion. I know some women who do not need much effort to have good skin, while others struggle with an eternal array of products promising a solution!

So, if a woman makes an effort to maintain looking good as she ages, I do not perceive it as vanity. For what is vanity? An excessive pride in one's appearance or accomplishments; conceit, even. I think the more important question is why we do it. I do it because I want my husband to see a nice looking woman when he looks at me. I think that is a fair reason. Also, it makes me feel good about myself. ;-)

As for the Vitamin C jabs, yes I understand the concerns regarding its effects. I checked it out with my doctors. They think it is ok. I checked it out with an ustaz. He says it is 'Harus' if your intentions are good. Well, considering my husband is 10 years younger than me, I guess I can safely say my intentions are good! :-D

I have gone for three jabs in the last 3 weeks. The effects? My skin is much softer and has a finer texture (you all know I had bad skin, even since school!). Not just on my face, but all over. In fact I think the skin on the rest of my body shows a much faster effect then my face. My husband loves it! *wink**wink* And that, I think, justifies the RM95 I spend per week on the jabs!!!

The beauty of it is that, apart from better skin, the jabs help boost your immune system too, and a host of other health benefits. That is according to my family doctor.

Having said that, I have to make a disclaimer here. That I am not, in any way, a champion for the VitC jabs. My experience with it has so far been good, Alhamdulillah, but you ladies make your own choice. And I reiterate, whether thes jabs are beneficial, whether it is a waste of RM, or whether it is a futile attempt at restoring our lost youth ... is relative and depends on the individual.

For those who wish to try it, Good Luck! I am here if you need to talk about it. Those who have done it, you know the benefits!

On a parting note, growing old gracefully is actually an art. We have to balance the fine line between looking good at our age and looking ridiculous! Botox, face lifts, cosmetic surgeries may not really be in line with what is acceptable as a norm. It is not normal to have a perpetual surprised look on your face (which, I was told, is what Botox gives you). But who am I to judge? Maybe to one woman, the benefits outweigh the risk?

A penny for your thoughts, ladies. I'd really love to hear it. Sorry I can't offer a free jab for your opinions though. The cost could hurt more than the needle ... ouch!!!

A Mother's Day Story

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom? "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's O.K."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?". "All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"

GOD answered......

"When I made woman, I decided she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining....

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and ! it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good."

The Great Debate

It has been quite some time since I (or any of us, for that matter) have put up any new posting on this blog. Guilty, I know, but things had been too hectic since after Chinese New Year, both in the office and at home. In fact, with all the running around, I should have shed some pounds, but looks like my horizontally challenged state may be attributed to my genes, after all. Sigh!

Over the last month or so, there has been a flurry of excitement, over the proposed Debate between TKCoga and the RMC Old Putras. And one of the TKC Debators is none other than our very own Sister of 74, Ani Che Dan. I called Ani the other day to wish her Good Luck for the Debate. Unfortunately, I don't think I will be attending because, (1) it is on Wednesday night in KLGCC which is far from home, (2) None of our Batch seems interested, so takde gang le, and (3) I have no ties, past or present, with any Old Putra, so going with them is also out, although my husband has given his go ahead. I do have ties with an exRMC student from the Cadet Wing, but I guess that doesn't count as an Old Putra (or what do they call these guys from the Boys Wing? Budak Boys?)

In any case, Ani, my thoughts and best wishes are with you. I have always admired how you and fellow debators past and present, have the guts to stand up onstage and argue er ... I mean, debate, over some topic given, in full view of every single spectator on the floor. I could never do that! Sure, my job requires me to do presentations to various categories of people, be interviewed on TV or by the Press, but I could never gather enough guts to do what you are going to do on Wednesday night. Especially at this age!!!

I read the emails from the TKCoga newsgroup, where Kak Ti (kakak ke? tak ingat lah!) asked what the dress code was. Pi replied that we should dress to look intelligent. Hmm ... just how does one look intelligent? Going in dark crisp suits with our hair tied back in a tight bun, with glasses, preferably the reading kind? I think that is the wrong strategy. We should go as the attrcative women that we are , whatever our personal dress code. And we should disarm the OldPutras with our charm, wit and humor! And win! So, Ani, you know what to do!!! :-D